HOW DOES MONASTIC LIFE and THE HOLY RULE CENTER ME AND AT THE SAME TIME ALLOW ME TO KEEP GROWING?

I'd like to share with you, in several parts, my answer to that question in hope that it might answer some of the questions you have about why someone might choose this way of life.  It is said that "Grace works upon nature".  This series of posts called "Centering & Growth" explains how it is God, though my own nature, has attracted me to monastic life and enabled me to answer the call that He has placed in my heart.  I can say with the prophet Jeremiah (Chapter 20, Verse 7) "You have seduced me O Lord and I let myself be seduced."

My prayers are with you!

Introductory Thoughts And Impressions

My visits over the last year have been a joy for me.  My talks with Mother P and the exercise she asked me to complete in answering the above question have placed me in better touch with the inner longings of my own heart.

I have noticed, too, that the longing in my heart is quickly made manifest in a physical sense when I enter monastic grounds. I am drawn to the land and experience a deep sense of relaxation and peace as I arrive at the guesthouse. I’ve often thought – “Wow, I can “breathe” here.” As a self-employed consultant in the healthcare management information services industry, I am exposed to a good deal of stress.  The stressors of the fast paced, highly detailed work that I do get parenthesized and I find myself easily able to enter into the monastic space and rhythm of the community. Working with several of the nuns and guests, as I did on one of my visits, was not only a welcome physical challenge (my work is sedentary) it was FUN and I looked forward to joining in the work whenever I visited. 

The overwhelming spirit of Benedictine hospitality touches me deeply and draws out in me my own desire for community and service.

All the elements of monastic life that I love so much come together in one place.  Mass, The Divine Office, art, chant, simple manual work, community, guests, cloister, silence, balance, humor, hospitality, and tradition are all present and  I find myself unable to settle for less, there is a restlessness inside that keeps pushing me forward to know more, experience more of the monastic life.  Of this I am certain, there has never before been in me so pervasive and compelling an urge as this and I know that I want to explore it more fully in whatever way that I can.

As I began to meditate on the above question, I first decided to find a formal definition of the word “centered”. What does it mean to be centered?

The dictionary I consulted rendered the following definition: “To be centered is to be directed toward a focal point. 

I think it is reasonable then to postulate based on that definition, that in “being centered” there is at least some sense of being acted upon, a sense that I am the object of whatever it is that is doing the directing. Situations, cultures, social status, family traditions are all examples of how everyday experiences act upon an individual to focus them in a particular way or on a particular course, or in fact toward something or someone.

In childhood, family traditions and beliefs are most likely to have a strong centering effect.  For example, my family is of Italian descent. I was directed toward and grew up immersed in things “Italian”. Adolescence with its new physical experiences brought on by nature as well as a host of complex social situations necessarily adjusts one’s center and draws a person quite strongly into himself as it becomes incumbent upon him to become an individual.  

Life’s stages are not the only factors that can effect a change in one’s center. There exists a host of complex issues that may cause a person to move from one circle to another – physically, spiritually and emotionally.  In fact, “changing centers” (sometimes frantically, sometimes not) is one way our modern world has come to describe “personal growth”. Monastic life, with its vow of stability, centered - without change - spiritually on Christ, physically in the monastery, and emotionally on fraternal love and intimacy with the superior and community may seem contradictory when viewed in light of our modern description of growth. 

It is also, in my opinion, important to note that the notion of being “acted upon” according to my initial approach is not completely applicable to human beings.  It is incomplete in that it does not address the truth of our creation, in God’s image and with His gift of free will.  In other words, I am not simply a product of my environment and experiences in some robotic or automatic way.  I certainly cannot be “centered” by any force in the way that, for example, a vase can be centered on a table.